Alright so the writing every night thing is just not happening. It was a cool goal while it lasted….all of 3 days I think….but it just hasn’t proven to be realistic for me right now. Though I am just sitting all day, none of this driving has been the passive and boring shit I had gotten used to in Wisconsin when I was driving 500 miles a week for my job. I basically could have done that blindfolded (as was proven to me in many a stress dream over the last few years). I purposely chose a route that avoids interstates as much as possible so all of this driving has been very active indeed. We’re talking 10-15 mph speeds around curves and some very, very twisty roads indeed but since the weather has been great and I’ve been doing it all during the lovely daylight hours it’s actually been really fun. This is all to say that my brain has been a bit fried towards the end of the day most days. I should take this moment to give a big shout-out to my little car who I have always loved but has really proven to be a trusty companion on this whole trip. I’m so happy I decided to keep her and take her to Hawaii with me. Tomorrow is the day I take her to a shipyard in LA and drop her off and I’m actually a little sad about it – will be hard to part ways after basically living out of her for the last 3 weeks. Then I just have to cross my fingers and hope that she arrives safely and is waiting for me when I land on the 14th. Think good thoughts everyone!
In an effort to alleviate a little of the brain melt of active driving plus trying to take photos and remember every little thing so I can possibly write about it later I chose to stay at an off the grid goat farm on the Rogue River in Oregon and it was indescribably peaceful and great. No wifi once you left the central barn area so I spent the night reading a book in an incredibly cozy bed after having snuggled baby goats for the better part of an hour. The lead pic is of Crater Lake which I visited before retiring to said peaceful goat farm. Also a beautiful and peaceful spot generally but my “I hate everyone” button was pushed a few times due to people’s behavior. Must we really have an out and out screaming match about our dogs almost but not quite fighting? They’re animals and you brought them around a ton of other people and animals – fucking get over it.
I’ve made it to LA and I was telling my friend yesterday that I have these big ideas and what feel like good realizations in the day when I’m driving and I think to myself “You’ll remember that” and then when I sit down they just don’t materialize. I know I’ve absorbed the thought but I can’t put it into words in the way it came to me in the moment. So lesson learned, I’m going to have to start dictating to my phone or something when that happens. Sigh.
What I most definitely don’t want this to be is just “picture, description, picture, description, etc etc” so in an effort to fight against that urge I’m just going to show you some pretty pictures and talk about the thing I want to talk about even if they don’t seemingly go together, how’s that?
The active travel part of my journey is pretty much over and now I can feel the anxiety looming in the background about not having had a job for the last month. While I have plenty of money and everything is actually fine I am pretty much a very short staircase of thoughts away from freaking out at all times right now. It’s pretty easy for me to redirect my brain from heading down that staircase but it certainly takes effort. I think it’s healthy to acknowledge that the staircase exists though. At least I know I’m not a true ambitionless bum, I’m just currently playing that role.